


Ambivalence

by Alexis_Madeline



Category: You (TV 2018)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, It's cage time babey let's get it, Joe is Joe and that's really how it be sometimes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexis_Madeline/pseuds/Alexis_Madeline
Summary: You shut the book, glare at him before throwing it at his face. To his credit he does flinch, take half a step back when you slam your fists against the glass. You bare your teeth at him, absolutely frenzied. What you would give to beat him senseless right now.
Relationships: Joe Goldberg/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 85





	Ambivalence

“Fucking shit,” You groan, pressing your hand to the back of your head, it’s throbbing. You open your eyes for a moment and immediately shut them when the bright light slams into your head like a damn train. You lie there for awhile, ears ringing, one arm draped over your eyes. 

You sigh, slowly gathering yourself as you sit up on the mattress laid across the floor. You squint in the intense lighting, trying to look around for clues. Clues such as: Where are you? What happened? Are you dead? Are you alive? 

You stand, unsure of the answers to any of those questions. 

“I’m so sorry,” You hear and you turn around. There’s a man just behind the glass, his hands pressed to it, looking as if he just ran over a puppy. 

You narrow your eyes, “Who are you?! Where am I?!” 

He recoils, stares at you in shock, “Oh fuck,” He mutters as you approach him, “Oh no, I didn’t think I hit you that hard oh fuck what have I-” 

You laugh as he paces around and he whips his head towards you, “I’m just fucking with you, Joe,” You say, leaning against the glass adjacent from him, “I remember everything now, just took a second.” 

He runs back to the glass, eyes widened, “Wh-” 

“Shoulda seen the look on your face,” You say, smiling bitterly, “Probably better than the face I had when I found your-” You clench your jaw, grit your teeth, “God, this is fucked.” 

He calls out to you and you sigh, stare at him impassively. 

“I’m sorry,” He says, his eyes watery, “I didn’t mean for all of this to happen.”

You roll your eyes, lean your back against the glass and slide down, “Whatever,” You say, resigned to whatever fate Joe has in store for you. Maybe he’ll make your death quick if you’re lucky. 

“Please,” He cries, kneeling down, “I’m really sorry. It wasn’t meant to be like this.” 

You look back at him, “What was it meant to be like, Joe?”

His bottom lip quivers, eyebrows furrow, “Not like this.”

You face ahead, eyes on the books, “What, me finding out?” 

“I… I didn’t want these things to happen, you have to believe me!” 

You scoff, turn back to face him, “Yeah, man, I hate when I murder 3 people by complete accident.” 

His head lowers, and you turn away, “So what are you going to do with me now,” You ask, standing up, “Gonna kill me to tie up loose ends,” You grab a book without looking at the title, flip through the pages, “Or gonna keep me here forever?” 

He scrambles to his feet, gets as close as he can to you, “I don’t want any of that,” You look up from the pages at him, skeptical, “I want us to work things out! This is just- this is just a hurdle in our relationship that we can get through.” 

You shut the book, glare at him before throwing it at his face. To his credit he does flinch, take half a step back when you slam your fists against the glass. You bare your teeth at him, absolutely frenzied. What you would give to beat him senseless right now. 

“You killed people I loved, you fucking sicko,” You growl, “Don’t call this a fucking hurdle.” 

He stares at you for a few seconds, eyes widened, darting between yours, “Okay, okay,” He says, his palms facing you, “I know you’re mad at me but you have to understand-”

“ _Understand_ ?!” You throw your hands up, turn away from him, exasperated, “Jesus fucking Christ, Joe, you _murdered_ people! There’s no understanding! You’re just sick!” 

“I’m not-” His voice strains, fists clenched, “I’m not sick, I was just trying to protect you.” 

You run your hands across your face, “Taking people’s lives,” You shake your head, walk to the mattress on the floor and lay back down, arms draped over your eyes again, “Jesus,” You whisper, “Help me.” 

He kneels next to you and you glare at him before turning away, “Just leave me alone, Joe, don’t you think I’ve endured enough for now?” 

You hear him sigh, “Okay, I’ll come back in the morning. I love you.” 

You close your eyes, let out an exhale, imagine how this man you once loved is going to kill you. 

The lights turn off and you’re left alone. 

… 

Your throat aches and hot tears stream down your face and you feel disgusted with yourself when you crave Joe’s embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it, I'll do my best to make frequent updates since this show is my new hyperfixation lol. Comments and Kudos are much appreciated and will automatically guarantee me dying for you <3


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